Little spoons don't ask big questions
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
