3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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