he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
