i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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