i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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