I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize