Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
