google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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