someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
