Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I AM VODKA MAN
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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