so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
