the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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