Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
