CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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