And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize