He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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