My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
