I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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