So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
