Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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