butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
