eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
