what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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