After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
