it was like his penis was on wheels.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize