This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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