i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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