doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize