I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
