need another drink. this is the easiest way
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
