i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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