So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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