Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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