I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize