YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Buhtt sex?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize