I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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