Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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