I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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