I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
