I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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