This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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