Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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