he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
