I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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