He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
