I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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