Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
