tell your sister to shave her snatch
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize