Your face is a jimmy john
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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