Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there was a trapeze. enough said
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
