I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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