can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
