I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
