shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
