All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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