Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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