I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
