Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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