stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
