do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
