That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
